"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
