he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
