The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
