Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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