Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
