I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize