Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
