You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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