fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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