Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
