It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
