I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize