I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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