Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
