I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm always down for nudity.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
