Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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