I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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