bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
