i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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