there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
