I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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