Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
