He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
