I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
