K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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