Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
My balls are so social today.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
