You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize