enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
