I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
