I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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