drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
