and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You really coming over, don't trick.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
