R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Randomize
