He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
