when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
