We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
