Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
