life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize