Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize