party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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