girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
40s are totally the cure
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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