I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
