Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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