I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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