69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
