How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We need to get me chipped asap
its liver damage thursday
Randomize