CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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