Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
