But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
