Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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