with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize