Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
