I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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