Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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