I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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