Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
