Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
